fbpx

Department of Florida

From the Chairman

Chair:
If I could forget what my eyes have seen

I read this on a website: theofficernextdoor.com. (author unknown) It’s referring mainly to Police Officers but reading it I could see many a Fire Fighter and Paramedic experiencing the same feelings. This is a prime example of First Responder PTSD.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would stop the years of tragedy replaying in my head, while trying to sleep at night.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would no longer see the face of the young child I couldn’t save from drowning.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would no longer see the lifeless bodies lying on the highway at the countless fatality car accidents I’ve worked.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would no longer see that person take their last breath who was caught in gang crossfire.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would forget the look on a parent’s face when I told them their child was dead and never coming home.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would no longer see the lifeless bodies of every homicide victim I’ve seen over the years.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, what a decomposed body looks like even worse, what one smells like.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would forget the look of fear and pain on every domestic violence victims face, who endured abuse from someone they loved.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would erase the imagines of child abuse, sex trafficking, and child porn, I was forced to see throughout my career.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, my heart would be softer, my trust more attainable, and my guard not always up.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I’d be less skeptical, less cynical, and remember that kindness in humanity still exist.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would no longer break down and cry unexpectedly, like a dam of emotion breaking for reasons unknown.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would sleep without issues, cold sweats, and repetitive dreams of being killed would be a thing of the past.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would not have to sit with my back against the wall when out in public, forever on the alert just in case evil were to show up.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I’d be forever free from the truth that evil is real. It’s out there. I know because I have looked into its eyes.

If I could forget what my eyes have seen, I would not be a Police Officer.
These are the burdens we carry, the price we pay to keep you safe.
This is the truth behind our badge.

Daryl Bass
Law & Order
laworder@legionmail.org